Almost There…

My students are facing finals, and I am soooo glad that I’m not in high school anymore.  While I’m working everyday, I’m dreaming of what’s to come!

Things that I am saving for the summer:

• Organize recipes and cookbooks.  Make a binder of all the loose papers I have.
• Try to go pescatarian for an anti-inflammatory diet.  See if back and overall health improve with the changes.  Come up with lots of great new recipes.
• Buy a house.
• Move into said house.
• Study “good works” in the Bible.  Get over my anxiety about studying the Bible.
• Cook at home more.
• Make a website for my business and finalize my new business plan.
• Learn how to stick to a budget.

Things I have been doing that will help my summer be totally rocking if I can keep them up:

• Losing weight.  Legs and arms are already looking quite nice!
• Not crowding every day full with stuff to do.
• Being realistic about what I can accomplish, give, do, etc…
• Staying conscious of where our money goes.
• Praying that God will meet all of our needs even though I won’t be working as much.

What I’d like to do this summer:

• Go on a long vacation to Dawn Ranch in Sonoma and swim in the Russian River all day long while sipping lightly chilled rose as Honey chases birds.
• Not babysit every single day.

What I will actually be doing this summer:

• Celebrating 5 year of marriage!
• Going to the beach with my favorite dog as many times as possible.
• Being outside as much as possible.
• Going to Vermont for a family reunion.

Not It!

I am not the best housekeeper.  I take forever to do things, because I want them done perfectly.  This comes back to bite me; I take too much time to clean, so I don’t clean, which then means it takes longer to clean when I do.  Ugh.

To add to the mayhem, we’re not very good at picking up and putting things away, so in order to even begin to clean, we first have to organize and de-clutter.  So basically, we have to clean to clean.  We work so hard on the organizing bit that we have no more energy or time to do the actual dusting, vacuuming, etc.

The cherry on the pile- Chris decided recently that he doesn’t want to do floors anymore, because he has been doing them for the last 4 years.  (Also, because, with a dog, there is hair everywhere, and I’d like him to move the furniture to get it all up.)  I can’t do floors because of my back; the motion just sends it all out of whack. So if we want a squeaky clean house, Chris has to take that part.  And over the years, chores get old!!

So, yeah, I have a lot of excuses….  and I’m not even writing them all down, because I’m starting to get embarrassed.

Nevertheless, a clean house is very important to us for many reasons, but especially for our own mental health, so we had to do something.  We decided to stop living in a mess and hired someone to clean for us.

This was actually a really, really hard decision.  Here’s why I felt I couldn’t have something this good:

1. I haven’t earned it.  It’s like being the boss before I’m the administrative assistant.  You know, I haven’t worked my way up the ladder by getting good at it myself and then passing it off.
2. I don’t deserve it.  Like I should make myself do it because we aren’t old enough, rich enough, etc…
3. It’s being lazy/undedicated/some other lame word. We’re adults and should figure out how to do this ourselves and take care of our own you-know-what.
4. We don’t have the money.

#4 is actually based mostly in reality, because we do not have a lot of disposable income.  But it came down to this…  Should I feel guilty all the time over not taking care of the house (which I did), or should I find a solution (which I did)? Learning what I have the capacity for and what to let go of will be a lifelong process, but something had to give NOW.

I did the math and, while my numbers might be fuzzy, figured it out!  I’ve had a babysitting job every Friday for the last year and a half that I’ve thinking of quitting so that I have a proper 2 day weekend.  I sat down one day and contemplated whether I would rather babysit and have my friend clean or stay home and clean it myself.  Instead of staying home and doing something that I really don’t like and am not good at, I now make $2 less per hour babysitting than I pay my friend to clean.

Let me tell you; it’s been life-altering!  For example:

• When things are clean, it’s just easy to keep them clean!
• We straighten the house at least once a week in preparation for cleaning, but more often than not, we do it every day for our own pleasure.  It is a joy to have a clean house to come home to- not just on Fridays but every day.
• I even enjoy babysitting now WAY more than before because I know that my hard work is allowing me something really special when I get home.
• We’ve also had people over more often (and spur of the moment!) because we don’t have to run around cleaning before everyone arrives.

Chris summed it up two weeks ago when he said, “I love having a cleaner.  The house looks amazing, and I’m not even tired.”

So, feel free to stop by any time…  The house will be spic and span!

Not Sooooo Much!

I made a pledge to myself this weekend:  I am going to take better care of myself.  The last month has been a whirlwind of taking care of everyone but me, and the migraines every day last week were the proof in the pudding.  While I love doing things for others, it shouldn’t come at such a heavy load on me, my mind, and my body.

The apathy that I talked about in my first post (click here to view) has lessened since January in most aspects of my life, but it crept back in my actions toward myself.  I was eating badly (in my terms, not in the terms of the average American), overscheduling, running myself ragged, and wearing myself down.  Boo for me!

The reality of this cycle was that I wasn’t my best for anyone, and I wasn’t even really taking care of people as well as I could.  I wasn’t saying “no” to anything that came my way, and I just wasn’t being realistic at all.  My motto, “Be Your Best; let go of the rest,” was being totally ignored.

In fact, I was taking the rest, gathering it all up in my arms, and trying to cram it into every little nook and cranny of time and mind that I could find.  Exhausting carrying all that extra load.  It had to stop.

Each day, I will do something for myself.  Most days, that will take the shape of a blog post, which I love and helps cut through the crazy.  Some days will include reading the Bible for longer than usual, soaking in a bath, relaxing with a glass of wine, reading a magazine, taking an extra long morning walk, or sitting outside with my feet planted on the ground.  In fact, I’ve already started one thing- a daily change- that I’ll tell you about later this week.

I’m sure that on some days I will fall back into old patterns, but realizing my problem will help me make the changes that are needed.  I know that some of you out there are great at self-care, so give me your tips!  What do you do to take care of yourself?